Got married at the age of 30, expecting my first child and I am so scared to be a father because I feel I might fail as one or not have the perfect relationship with my child. Growing up as a child my father was so strict and would not give room to having a personal conversation with him, I had to go through my mum or seek advice from friends, no doubt my father provided all my needs but there was no personal relationship with him. I want to be there for my unborn child, I want to be a father as well as a friend, a confidant, a helper, everything my father was not to me.

In as much as a mother is seen as a nurturer, a teacher, and disciplinarian and in some cases, plays both the role of a father as well, the presence of a father cannot be overemphasized. A father is one every child looks up to be like, to a boy child a father is his first hero, to a girl child a father is her first boyfriend. There is a certain level of self-confidence a child gets from having a personal relationship with his father. A father should be able to stand up for his child, have a personal relationship with his child, and be there for his child regardless of the situation because a father is the first figure a child looks up to. A father gives three important things to his child, Identity, Validation, and Affirmation. The absence of these key things leads to Low self-esteem, low emotional quotient, and poor self-image.

It is not too late to fix whatever it is with your father if you still have the chance to, and if you do not have that chance then identify the mistakes made by your father and endeavor to be a better father to your children.

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